Who, What, Why?

I know I’m not alone when I say there are just too many unanswered questions. Most of which begin with Who, What, and Why. Don’t ask me Why that is. Or Who the hell started it. Or What it even means. Because I have no friggin’ clue. I just want to know every one answer...

WHY are all my friggin doctor appointments around Thanksgiving and Christmas?

 WHY do all of my husband’s and sons’ dress shirts need professionally laundered at the SAME time?

 WHY do all my prescriptions need refilled at DIFFERENT times during the month?

 WHY the hell can’t Starbucks deliver?

WHY doesn’t Wal-Mart deliver?
WHY does the hair on our head fall out but grow in other strange places on our body?

 WHY does my hoo-ha need poked and prodded yearly?

 WHY do my boobs need squashed in a machine?

 WHY do my teeth need scraped and my gums pushed until they bleed?

 WHO ever thought our mouth was a good place for a drill anyway?

 WHO the hell decided to do away with house calls?

 WHO came up with the stupid ass concept of husbands and wives occupying the same bed while trying to SLEEP?

 WHO was the brain trust that gave us a five-day work week but only a two-day weekend?

WHO invented work anyway?

WHO concocted do-it-yourself? 

 WHAT is up with all the medication commercials?

WHAT gene do some people possess, or maybe it’s lack, that makes them think I want to hear their cell phone conversation while I'm standing in line?

WHAT is up with all the buy-one-get-one-free-and-we'll-throw-in-a-jetpack-warrior-knife-and-robot-all-for-the-price-of-shipping infomercials?

WHAT class did doctors take to learn how to make us wait so long?

WHAT is wrong with the thermostat in the doctor’s office?

WHAT is up with my dog sniffing out rabbit poop for a snack?

WHAT is up with women who buy big ass SUV’s but can't park/judge, let alone drive them?

WHAT in the name of all that is holy would make anyone want TWENTY children? 

Do you have any Who, What, Why questions that you'd liked answered or that just drive you completely batty? I’d love to hear them! I might even have an answer, but don’t count on it!