I Was A Santa Terrorist

Now that my boys are older, I can’t threaten them with Santa when they act up! I sure miss those days! When they were little and did something that I, the mean old Grinchette, deemed inappropriate, which was basically everything if you asked them, I’d call Santa.

 I picked up the telephone and dialed my brother’s home telephone number and when he answered I would say something akin to, Santa, it’s Mrs. Zydel, Dalan and Austin’s mom. My boys would be standing there staring at me, normally with a look that said yeah right, Santa’s on the other end, so NOT buying it—until I handed them the phone, then they bought it, lock, stocking and barrel.

 One year, Santa asked, “Already?” It being only a day or two after Thanksgiving. I apologized to Santa for calling his emergency number and explained that Dalan and Austin hadn’t been acting very nice and thought he might have a talk with them.

I handed Dalan the phone first and watched as he listened to his uncle's best Santa voice and responded with yes’s, alright’s, okay’s, and a final promise to be good before handing the phone to his brother. Austin was so cute, he being all of two or three, so would just nod, as if Santa could SEE him through the phone, he too promised to be good before handing the phone back to me.

 I thanked Santa, hung up and asked my boys what Santa had said and they told me he said to be good, not fight, and listen to their mom and dad. I told them to remember what Santa had said and also that I had his number on speed dial. Their good behavior lasted a whole couple hours, because they were KIDS—and boys to boot. But when I would tell them, I’m going to hit that speed dial number, they would straighten up like little soldiers! It was just too much fun! (My gosh, looking back I was a freaken Santa terrorist!)

Over the years, email, cell phones, texting and social media have come into play and NO kid who believes in Santa is safe. I guess it’s a good thing my kids don’t believe anymore because I would be torturing the living hell out of them…

I’m texting Santa if you don’t get that homework done in fifteen minutes! 

I’m going to Santa’s Facebook page and writing on his wall that you’re being mean to your little brother!

Make your bed or I’m getting my laptop, going on Skype and SHOWING Santa!

Remember you have to be good up until he lands on our roof because Santa carries his Iphone ALL night!

Oh yes, good thing they don’t still believe, but also sad. I miss the innocent sparkle in their eyes at the mere sound of Santa’s name. How pleased they looked when they saw crumbs on Santa’s plate. Their awe when they saw their gift piles beneath the Christmas tree in the morning and said, “He was here!” I love seeing the Spirit of Christmas through the eyes of a child and recalling the years past makes me wish I could re-live some of those days over again.