I Resisted Slapping The Receptionist Whisperer

**Disclaimer: Mature language**

Cartoon Compliments of Dave Carpenter

The other day, I went to an Imaging Center for an appointment I made to have an Echocardiogram.

Now, I need to tell you that I wasn’t in the best of moods. I was tired, not just because of my “health issues”, but also because our new puppy has me running ragged and I’m up a couple extra times a night to let her out. I’m not complaining about the puppy; I knew it would entail WORK. I’m just more sluggish therefore my patience level isn’t where it SHOULD be and when that happens I tend to NOT have a filter on my mouth.

So, I entered the facility and walked up to the reception desk and signed-in. The receptionist whispered, “Do you have an appointment?”

At that moment I almost snapped because it was the STUPIDEST question I think I’ve heard in a VERY long time! I wanted to say: No, I have no life and like visiting random imaging centers so that they will bill my insurance company for random procedures then I can pay co-payments because I have absolutely nothing else better to spend my money on. However, I managed to hold my temper AND use my filter at the SAME time, and answered, “Yes.”

 She asked me my name, which I supplied (although all she had to do was READ the damn sign-in sheet) then she began rummaging through a stack of papers. I couldn’t help but get a sinking feeling that this wasn’t going to turn out well. “What are you here for?” She asked, in what I could only determine was her best whisper tone.

 “An Echocardiogram.”

 “We don’t do those on Mondays.” She said in that same whisper tone as she resumed rummaging through the papers, then she stopped and looked at the paper I was holding. “What’s that?”

“It’s MY referral,” I answered in a tone that was NOT a whisper because it was annoying having her speak to me like I was not only in the Library of Congress but also like I was two fucking years old and ready for a nap…never mind that I was—ready for a nap, but I’m certainly NOT two.

“May I see it?” I handed it to her, even though I wanted desperately to say NO, you may NOT. (Forget that I wanted to ACT like a two year old). She began tapping away on her keyboard then she excused herself and left the reception area. I began tapping my fingers on the counter because again I got the sinking feeling this wasn’t going to turn out well. She came back and whispered, “I’m sorry but you aren’t scheduled today.”

That was ALL I needed to hear. I slammed my hand on the counter and practically shouted, “You’ve GOT to be kidding me!” She jumped a little and had I not been so ticked, I would’ve giggled.

“We can still do it if you want to wait an hour.” Guess she forgot they don’t do those on Mondays.

“An hour? Listen, MY time is JUST as valuable as YOURS. I’ll reschedule.”

“Okay. I’m really sorry.” She whispered yet again. And I wanted to tell her to shut the hell up because she wasn’t sorry. Had she been sorry she wouldn’t have me wait an hour or reschedule. Medical People SAY they’re sorry because they think it will appease us. I wasn’t appeased. Actually I was really ticked and I would’ve demanded they do my echo right there and then, but I had no leverage, so I probably would’ve been arrested.

As I was waiting for her to check with the technician and other happy shit to reschedule me, a man came in for HIS appointment and he was told, “You are supposed to be here on the 24th.”

I looked over and said, “Oh, they screwed YOURS up too!” The man looked at me but meekly looked away. I guess he didn’t want to cause a scene, whereas I have NO problem doing exactly that!

“Would you write that on one of those cards?” The man asked the other receptionist. She did and handed him the card and then he left. I was the only pissed off patient and I was SURE they wanted to blame ME for the screw up. Then, a minute later, the man came back and told the receptionist, “You wrote January twelfth on my card.”

 I all but laughed! So, they screwed up MY appointment, HIS appointment, then they wrote the WRONG date on HIS card!

 By this time the receptionist whisperer came back and had my new day and time, which I had HER write on the back of my referral in case they messed it up again. If they do, I WILL demand they take me and not make me wait.

I’ll see receptionist whisperer next week. I swear, if I’m not in a better mood, I will answer her questions in a whisper tone of my own and hope it annoys the hell out of her!