My Valentines

Valentine’s Day is for love and lovers, or at least that’s what Hallmark tells us (encouraging us to cough up $5 or more on a card written by someone else—ever hear of Picasa?) and it’s also right THERE, on my calendar: Valentine’s Day.

As if MY husband is going to feel guilty for not spending double the money on flowers that will die in a few days, countless bucks on candy that can add extra pounds during the time of year when a lot of people tend to gain the most weight, keep you up all friggin night or make you break out with a bazillion pimples as if you were going through puberty once again. No thanks.

If I don’t know by NOW that HE loves ME, no happy-sappy Hallmark card, dozen or more red roses or a heart-shaped box of Sarris chocolates is going to tell me.

What I DO have that tells me every day that my husband loves me is HIM, and our two beautiful sons that he and I share together. 

Dalan and Austin are MY valentines EVERY day. It’s hard to believe they are nineteen and fourteen. Dalan is graduated from high school, graduated from Army basic training and will soon be off to college. Austin is in ninth grade and has his first official girlfriend!

Last night he called me and asked, “Mom, you know how tomorrow is Valentine’s Day?”

“Yes I do.” I couldn’t help but think it must be important, he didn’t TEXT me, he CALLED me!

“I want to get Suzy something.” (Her name isn’t Suzy but he WILL get ticked if I write her REAL name! He’ll probably get ticked because I wrote this in the first place, but hell, I NEED material for this damn blog, kid.)

“What are you thinking?”

“Like a necklace or bracelet or something.”

 I couldn’t help but smile to myself; however, he’s FOURTEEN, so jewelry is a bit inappropriate at this age. Not wanting to burst his love-bubble, I said, “How about I pick you up and we go to the Hallmark store. They have all kinds of gifty things, even candy.”

Yes, I know I kinda mocked Hallmark at the beginning of this post, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like Hallmark. I like it just fine. Hallmark has great collectibles and I enjoy its movie channel—even if their cards are a bazillion dollars!

I digress.

Austin and I did go to our local Hallmark where he picked out a chocolate heart-shaped box filled with assorted chocolates and a little white bear holding a red heart. He did find a card, too (yeah I’m a sucker when it comes to my boys). It was a cutesy card, perfect for a fourteen year old. I mean really, it’s not like he’s going to marry this girl—well, he better NOT be thinking of marriage!

I told him I thought it was nice that he wanted to give his girlfriend a valentine and that his dad and I used to do that too but after almost twenty-five years of marriage, we’d rather go out to a nice dinner (which we’ll do this weekend when my husband’s not tired from working).

After we got home, I found red roses in my older son’s room. I wasn’t surprised. He’s thoughtful, having watched his dad surprise me over the years. I’m sure his girlfriend will be thrilled.

 It’s bittersweet, my boys will always be MY valentines, and I used to be theirs, but now they have their own, because mommy isn’t the center of their universe anymore. That’s okay; I get it. It means I’ve been doing my job. I’ve been raising them to be emotionally-healthy, independent, respectful young men. And if their actions now are any indication of how they’ll treat their future significant others, then I’m doing A-okay!

One day they will both be married and they will have families of their own (or at least I think they will) and the decisions will be a lot more difficult than red roses or a box of chocolates.

 But I WILL be here for them. They are my valentines but they are also my SONS and through thick and thin, rough or smooth, I’m their mom and will have their backs because they will always have my heart.