What I Won’t Do For Mega Millions

Well, I purchased ten tickets for tonight’s Mega Millions Lottery, which is an historic $640 mega million dollars! Like wow, that’s a ton of money. Now, if I choose to take the lump sum and after the government gets its grubby hands in it, I’d get about $347 million. That’s still mega millions for me and I wouldn’t be complaining.

 I’ll tell you what else I wouldn’t be doing. Talking. As in I’d be as quiet as a little church mouse as I locked that ticket up in a safety deposit box, grabbed the husbster and the kids and headed off to a cabin in the woods for a couple weeks.

 Quiet time would definitely be in order to figure out how to proceed.

 I do know what I wouldn’t do. I would not buy a dozen cars and houses. I wouldn’t buy a jet. I wouldn’t be telling everyone and their brother’s former roommate because I wouldn’t want friends I didn’t know I had.

 I wouldn’t go on a shopping spree in Paris. I wouldn’t even go to lunch in Paris. I might do a trip to Paris, but that would be after I had made a list and checked it twice. I wouldn’t buy jewelry. I wouldn’t buy furs. Heck, I probably wouldn’t even buy clothes. I mean eventually I would. But I do that now. When I need or want something, I buy it.

 I certainly wouldn’t buy drugs, alcohol or hookers and I’m pretty sure my husband wouldn’t either—well I hope not! I wouldn’t gamble it away, even though I do like to gamble. So, even though I’d be a mega millionaire I’d still gamble, but just for fun, because no one should be gambling to get rich. That’s just stupid and a sure way to get poor.

 I wouldn’t be writing checks to everyone who shared DNA with me. I know that sounds really bad, stingy even. But think about it. What is DNA? Does it mean you share a quality relationship? Does it mean that person really cares about you? Has that person been there with you through the good and bad, the thick and thin, the trials and tribulations? Would you pick that person as a friend? If you answer no, then it’s a pretty safe bet that DNA means zip.

 You’d get a check if you’ve been involved in my life. Those people would be taken care of very well. And charities—oh, I have my favorites. They will get some hefty checks. Anonymously of course. I don’t need notoriety. My good deeds are just as good even if only I know about them. 


 I wouldn’t be joining country clubs or trying to get my name on fancy rosters. The less people who know about me, the better. It’s one of the reasons I write with a pseudonym. I wouldn’t be throwing money around trying to get the best table at the best restaurants or telling people Don’t you know who I am! I’m still the same person even though I’m a mega millionaire. And yes, my life will change, how couldn’t it with three hundred million dollars? But I’d like to believe that my character will remain intact and how I treat people will stay the same. 


 I have good and bad days. There are days I’m a ray of sunshine and others when I’m a bit bitchy. I don’t think mega millions is going to change that. Although a daily massage COULD make me feel a bit better physically, so maybe, just maybe I wouldn’t be as bitchy…oh who the hell am I kidding? If you piss me off, I’m going to tell you, mega millionaire or not.


I wouldn’t change for any amount of money. I am who I am. Hate me for who I am but certainly don’t like me for who I am not.